Teek.

A little over 2 years ago I fell in love with hedgehogs and decided that one day I'll get one. Well, that day has finally come and around 2 weeks ago I became a "hog mom" to a little hedgie named "Teek." I thought by getting a hedgehog I'd be getting this incredibly sweet and loving pet that thinks I'm the greatest person on the planet, but I couldn't have been more off. I've learned that these animals need time to warm up to you and that you have to fight for their love.. What? You mean they don't naturally pose for pictures in Starbucks' cups or snuggle with you or love you instantly? Bummer. To be super honest, I'm not the most patient human either. (I'm working on it.)

Teek has taught me so much about God and His father heart. I never expected a hedgehog to be able to teach me about the Lord, but I suppose stranger things have happened.
A few facts: hedgehogs are natural prey animals, so they are super fearful and aren't generally a very social pet.  It really makes me sad that my pet lives in such fear. He is so scared of everything and everyone, including me, and every day I have to almost retrain him to not be afraid of me and where I have him. I literally have told him as I'm holding him and he's shaking, "You're so safe with me. Why can't you see that you're safe?" Then I saw it so clearly. God holds me like that every second of every day and whispers the same thing to me as I tend to draw back in fear.
I wait for the other shoe to drop with God.
I hide away scared of where He has me.
As I'm being tenderly held by the God of the universe, I'm clenching on for dear life to whatever I can because I can't see past my human tendencies to just listen and trust Him.
Thank you, God, that you're so much more patient than I am and that with you I'm actually safe.
I don't have to be afraid to be out of my comfort zone or by being held by God. He's got me. 

Once Teek is with me for a little while, he starts to trust me and love me and relax more, but it takes time. My goal is to ultimately be able to pick him up without him shaking in fear and for him to trust in who I am and that I love him and would never harm him. I know that God wants the same for me. He wants me to be fearless with Him and trust Him when He moves. To be able to readily come when He calls and to rest in His loving arms.
Hedgehogs are seriously therapeutic, guys.

"I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken for He is right beside me. No wonder my heart is so glad and I rejoice. My body rests in safety." -Psalm 16:8-9

"This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety, He is my God and I trust Him." Psalm 91:2

"The Lord says, 'I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in My name. When they call on Me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them My salvation.'" Psalm 91:14-16

The only thing I know.

For the longest time growing up I always thought I'd come to a place one day when I've reached the point of having it "all figured out." I always imagined this picture perfect life where I knew everything there was to know, I was content with every single detail of my life and that life would just go on happily ever after. I'm not sure when reality set in, but it definitely wasn't until well into my college years when The Lord lovingly shook me and asked me, "Ty, when did I say you had to be perfect? That your life had to be perfect? When did I say that my love is based on performance and that it's not unconditional?" And that's when it hit me. I had this picture of this worry free, problem free, easy life that I had never fit God into.
So I've come to the conclusion:
My life is messy. I'm a total mess all the time, but God LOVES it. All God asks for is our messy hearts because He makes our messes beautiful. He makes our worries, problems, imperfections and shortcomings wonderful for HIS life He has for us. It doesn't make any sense and that's the beauty of it!
I love that God does the work in orchestrating the things in our lives. I mean think about it, the best things that have ever happened to you, did you really do them? No, of course not! God put a desire on your heart and divinely orchestrated it for you to walk into. It doesn't mean that we don't have to work for these things, but He's the reason they work and that they're even possible. Our God is a God of detail. I'm convinced that God cares about absolutely every detail of my life. From what time I drink coffee, to the route I take to work, every conversation I have and my last thought before I go to sleep. He cares about the smallest worries in my heart and always affirms my doubts. Did you notice a pattern in this post? Mess. My worries, my mess. He wants and loves it all. He makes my paths straight. Thank you, Jesus!
 We're human. We struggle. We doubt. We stumble. We all need a savior. Let's rest in the fact that God loves us all the same on the mountain tops and in the deepest valleys. We can't be perfect, but we can abide in Him and trust that His plans are best for us. We are perfectly imperfect.
The only thing I know is that I don't know anything.. and that's okay with me.

"…Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Check out Psalm 139, too! :)