Little did I know.

I haven't written in awhile, so I figured it's only appropriate to make the best of the last night of 2013.  I always get pretty sentimental when each year ends. It always goes by pretty fast and I never feel like I appreciate it enough while in the midst of it. This year has been filled with a lot of joy, a lot of pain and a lot of change for me.  I've been placed way outside of my comfort zone and have been challenged in so many places.  There's been a few instances where I saw no hope or no way out, but God was faithful.  I just saw a quote that said "God keeps His promises" with a bible verse beside it. It reads "God is not a man, so He does not lie.  He is not human, so He does not change His mind. Has He ever spoken and failed to act? Has He ever promised and not carried it through?" -Numbers 23:19
God sees us through. Whether it's in 10 minutes, 10 months, 10 years or 100 years, He's a man of His word.
This time last year, I was on my way to Passion in Atlanta, Ga.  If you've never been, It's absolutely life changing, so GO! :) The bus ride was so long so there was plenty of time to think about what I wanted out of this new year.  All I really wanted was hope. Hope that I could find myself and my place at Baylor, Hope for a church home and a community that uplifts me, hope for me to quit being so hard on myself, hope that my dreams of traveling the world and doing The Lord's will would come true.

Do you believe in divine appointments? I do. Little did I know that I would come to meet one of my best friends at Passion in the middle of 60,000 strangers.
Little did I know that I'd fall in love with writing.
Little did I know that trying every church in Waco and surrounding towns would leave me in tears only to hear God speak "Try Antioch."  Antioch has been everything and more for me. The community, my amazing life group, it's just all about Jesus.
Little did I know that after applying for so many different jobs and nothing working out, that a photography job at Baylor would present itself.  I'm so thankful for it. God knew best.
Little did I know that being so introverted and shy wasn't something to be ashamed of, but embraced. I'm still learning from it everyday.
Little did I know that cutting out television, secular music and nonsense of the world wasn't a choice, but a desire.
Last but not least, little did I know that falling in love with Jesus is something I want more and
more of everyday. He's the well that does not run dry.

Isaiah 55:1-3

Press into this new year and remember that God is the deliverer, just run to Him.

I choose to see stars.

Do you ever have days that run together and you can't seem to catch your breath? How about when you finally get a chance to catch your breath, you can't really relax because you feel like there's something that needs to be done?
I feel like my life has gone from 0 to 60 in an instant. God really has blessed me with SO many cool opportunities and excitement lately.  It's really cool how He uses us when we are least expecting it.  It's like when God appoints me to do something, I'll look around and be like "Um, me?" One of my best friends told me "Tyler, God doesn't appoint the qualified, He qualifies the appointed." It's so true.

In the midst of my business, I often lose sight on what I'm working for or why I'm doing what I'm doing.  God is so faithful though and I'm slowly learning how to see God in everything that I do.  The whole point to my existence is to be able to glorify Him in all that I do.

One of my favorite things to do is to sit outside and write or to just simply just lay there and stare at the sky.  Tonight when I got home, it's like God told me. "Tyler, look up."  I did and what I saw was just clouds. No stars. No moon.  I asked God, "What's there to see?" As soon as the thought came across my mind the answer came to me. Just because I can't see the stars or the moon doesn't mean that they're not there.
God is always there whether you feel Him or not. Just because you're not into a particular job or activity God has appointed you to do doesn't mean He's not present. Just because you can't see why you're doing it or why He's leading you somewhere you're not sure of, doesn't mean He isn't there.
God promises us that He has already paved the way. He's already at the days we are dreaming of, our worst days ahead and right here, right now.

I challenge you to set your mind to know that He is always holding your hand and is with you on your cloudiest days.

Do not be afraid of discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; He will never fail you nor abandon you. Deuteronomy 31:8.

Here is safe.

So today is my 22nd birthday.  No, I'm not "feeling 22." ;)  I've had 22 years of life so far and that's creepy.  Sometimes I feel 92 and other times I feel like I don't know anything as if I'm 5.  Do you ever see a picture from years before and think to yourself "what was I thinking?" "Oh I remember that day.."  I do.  A lot of the pictures I find of myself, I look like I know what I'm doing, but it takes me back to that day when I was taking that picture and inside I was clueless.  Truth is, I was always looking for something.  I never knew what I was looking for, but I was never happy or grateful for the life, family and friends I've been given.  I always had something to complain about.  I had the most worldly mind.  I'd create a mess of a situation and say "well everything happens for a reason!" NO. It doesn't.  We are sinful humans who make our own mistakes and messes of our lives and try and make the best of them instead of calling upon our Savior to come rescue us and give us the clean slate we don't deserve (Sorry, soapbox.)
Anyways,  when I look back at the majority of my photographs, I see a lost girl trying to find her way.  Different friends, different phases, different styles, etc.  I have put myself through a lot of pain and question in my 22 years.  I've had many seasons where I'd run from Jesus.  I wanted the control and that's not trusting in God and that's not believing in God.  God has used the pain, question, fear, mistakes and struggles to bring me here.  Here isn't a place, It's a lifestyle.  God has completely restored my life and healed me from this dark world's battlefields.  Thank you, Jesus.  He has saved me from a life of control and fear and filled me with peace and joy.  He still has to save me from it everyday.
When you look back through your photos what will you see? Will you see a path of brokenness that you've given to God and let him turn it for His good or will you see a life full of regret and not much change since then?
My dream is to look back from here, 22, to see a life of every situation, good or bad, reflecting the love of Christ.  A life of hope even when there isn't much hope to have.  A life of love and joy.  A life of potential.
If God can use me, He can use you.  No matter where you've been or what you've done, there's healing and restoration waiting for you. Just take it.
I never thought I would be who I am at 22.  I honestly never thought about it because I was so busy controlling 16, 17, 18, etc.  I want this day to not be a celebration of me, but a celebration of what Christ has done.  He should be celebrated everyday.  Thank you, Lord for your love, healing and newness you provide for us everyday.

P.s- Listen to "Times" by Tenth Avenue North & "Only You." by David Crowder.

The Lord is good to those who depend on Him, to those who search for Him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord. And it's good for people to submit at an early age to the yoke of His discipline. Let them sit alone in silence beneath the Lord's demands.  Let them lie face down in the dust, for there may be hope at last. -Lamentations 3:25-29

Someday.

"It's the oldest story in the world. One day you're seventeen and planning for someday, and then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today, and that someday is yesterday and this is your life." -One Tree Hill.
Sometimes I get super frustrated and want all the answers to every lingering questions in my head.  Then I think to myself, "One day I'll know it all, have it all and have everything figured out."  When I first heard the quote from above, it brings me back not to seventeen, but to twenty.  I wanted all the answers and I ignored my present time and lived for that "someday fantasy."  This past week it hit me as I was riding my bike home from school that there is no such thing as a day when it all comes together.  We will never have all the answers.  We will never stop growing.  Things will never stop changing.  Someday is today.  If we keep dreaming for "someday" we will miss today.  Today is the day to change things.  Today is the day to take a leap of faith.  Today is the day to raise your voice.  Today is the day to let it all go and take the hand of Jesus.  Today is the day to be faithful.  Today is the day to commit to whatever you've been putting off or avoiding.  Someday is today.  A single day can change your life if you open up and let it.  I pray we will all get the strength to take today and make it into the day that changes everything for us.
But I am trusting you, Oh Lord, saying, "You are my God!" My future is in Your hands, rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly. -Psalm 31:14-15

I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me.  He freed me from all my fears.  -Psalm 34:4

Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. -Psalm 37:3-4

Though they stumble, they will never fail, for the Lord holds them by the hand. -Psalm 37:24

Temporary darkness.

I'm going to start this post with a bible verse I read today.. Jeremiah 15:19 "If you return to me, I will restore you so you can continue to serve me. If you speak good words rather than worthless ones, you will be my spokesman. You must influence them; do not let them influence you."

We have all been sent here on earth to do something and only few of us finish what we are destined to do.  We go through pain, darkness and heartbreak for a purpose. When and if we take the time to learn from these experiences can we share our stories with the world, in hopes that it will help someone out of their darkness.
I have always lived a very fearful life.  I've always been scared to put myself out there or lift up my voice when I probably should have.  I also have this weird fear of people and their judgement of me.  So I try my best to blend in, in hopes that no one will notice me.  I listened to a sermon this summer over being a person who follows through with our callings.
We are called to be faithful.
I have recently, by the grace of God, gotten out of a darkness I've been enslaved to for several years.  God has broken me, taken so many things away from me, made me sit and be still and transformed me from the inside out.  The desires I have and the things I'm doing now are things I told myself I would never be doing.
I see now that my pain had purpose.
It's because after years of running from God and what He wants for my life I realized that nothing else on this earth can satisfy my soul like Jesus.
He has breathed life into my dry bones.  It's because of Him that I live.
"This is what the sovereign Lord says: Look! I am going to put breath into you and make you live again! I will put flesh and muscle on you and cover you with skin. I will put breath into you and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am Lord." Ezekiel 37:5-6
I've gone from completely planning every detail of my life and future to not knowing my next step. But I've strangely never had more peace.  I know that no matter where I go and what I'm doing, I'm safe.  I'm slowly coming out of my shell and letting my guard down.  This new chapter I've started has blessed me so much already.
Whoever you are and wherever you are right now, your pain has purpose and you are destined for greatness.

Only Jesus.

Sometimes I feel kind of lost.  Like everyone around me is flying past me and my feet are stuck to the ground.   You can be in a room full of people who seem like they have it all together, but you still feel so alone.  Like no one understands you or is on the same page as you are.
Today I woke up in a great mood and got so much done before I left for church.  Between the time I left church and the time I got home, discouragement started setting in.  I started to feel that lost feeling again.

It really is something special when God places people along your path that share the same passions and dreams as you do.  I've learned that even the greatest people in your life can't complete you.  They cannot fill voids or carry you through every obstacle.  Only Jesus.  We humans are broken, scarred and imperfect.  To expect another person to fulfill every hope we have is only going to end in disappointment.  I catch myself putting my worth into how people treat me and see me.  So unhealthy.

I love spending time with my friends and family, but I also am learning to cherish the alone time I have.  It's precious.  It's hard coming off of fun weekends or nights with my friends, but when I slow down and come back to just Jesus, peace overwhelms me.
I used to claim my identity in people and earthly things instead of Christ.  I'd find things I like about certain people and try to become a different person.
It has been in the loneliness and the quiet stillness with Jesus that I have completely transformed into a person I never even knew I could be.  The crazy thing is that I'm just 21.  I still have my whole life to learn more and more.
Hold on dearly to the people who pour the love of Christ into you and uplift you, but remember it's not their doing, it's Jesus.  The way He loves us is incomprehensible.
"If God's love is an ocean our minds can only hold a jarful."-Francis Chan (Crazy Love)

"For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him." 

Philippians 2:13

"Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.." 

C.S. Lewis

"Be still and know that I am God. I will be honored by every nation. I will be exalted in the earth" 

Psalm 46:10

Dysfunctionally functional...

Today wasn't the best day..  I was nearly late to my first class after hardly being able to wake up.  I then rode my bike into a bush on campus because some people were taking up the whole sidewalk.  Yes, people saw it happen. ( Feel free to laugh.)  I could barely stay awake for my two classes and when I got back to my bike I saw that my tires were nearly flat.  It made for a challenging ride home.  When I got home I remembered that I needed to take my car to the shop to air up its tires, as well.  After a few minutes of waiting, the man who was airing them up came to me telling me he broke off one of my sensors.. Luckily, he took care of it instead of me having to pay $150 for it.  Then my windshield wipers stopped working when I needed them. To top off the day, I felt really homesick.

Today was an abundance of setbacks and stress.

Satan tried attacking me numerous times today.  The old me would've cowered down, cried and then hide away in my apartment all day. 

But Something's very different now.

It's so easy to feel God's presence when life is going well and we are having these great days, but it's a whole other story to feel God's presence in our suffering. 

While I was still on the verge of tears today, I realized that my suffering is totally different.  I knew exactly where all these attacks were coming from and I fought back.

I doctored the scrapes from the bush incident, I took a nap and drank more coffee after being so tired, I aired up my bike tires, I didn't have to pay a thing for my tire repair & I went and bought what I needed to fix my wipers.  God even had a few of my closest friends get in touch with me today which provided great comfort. 

While all these problems aren't big in the grand scheme of things, they add up and can really frustrate and tear down a person. 

The point I'm trying to make, is that even in the little things, God is faithful.  He's always, always present.  Remember that you can learn something new about Jesus everyday. Even on the bad ones.

Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens; Your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds. Psalm 36:5

O LORD, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in Your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief. Psalm 143:1

The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. Lamentations 3:22-23

Time

Time is something we all take for granted.  We live everyday as if time is at our mercy, but it is quite the opposite.  Truth is, we have no idea what the next given second will bring to us.  But that is no excuse not to live.
Lately, I've been trying this new thing where I try to use my time more wisely.  It has really blessed me.  It gives me perspective that life is so, so beautiful when you slow down and really see everything you have that is right in front of you.  Once I slowed down, it's like I came down to earth and am actually here.. thankful for my time.  I feel like I'm a better friend and family member now, as well.  I've been praying for God to work with me in the "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry" area.  I am by no means the perfect friend or family member, but I do feel like the relationships I have are more genuine now.  All glory to God.
I truly believe there is a huge difference between living and existing.  I have wasted so much time in my life being bitter or sad about different things.  It consumed my entire being to where it completely took God's place in my heart.  Believe me when I say that I wish I could go back in time to make those times happy ones.  We are in control of how we feel.  If something doesn't feel right or you aren't liking a certain version of yourself, change it.  Life is slipping away from us every second of everyday.. too fast to not be joyful no matter where you are in life.
"One Tree Hill" is one of my favorite shows of all time. I love the music and the quotes from it. Here's a quotes that inspired me.
"Sometimes I think we waste our words, and we waste our moments... And we don't take the time to say the things that are in our hearts when we have the chance."
God is always working, you guys. Always.  But we as humans, choose to see the good or the bad. One of the many things I love about God is that He's not a forceful God.  He is always with us, patiently trying to get our focus back on Him.  I cannot imagine being with someone 24/7, trying to help them, love them and show them their way, only to be ignored. Thank you, Jesus for your endless grace.
Let's use our time we have to love, to tell our loved ones and friends how we feel about them, to make a difference in someone else's life, to listen to what God is saying, to stop and enjoy the life you have been given that is all around you. Life is beautiful if you take the time to see it.

Make me walk along the path of Your commands, for that is where my happiness is found. -Psalm 119:35 NLT.

Moments.

Do you believe a single moment can change your life?
This is something I struggle with every single day.  There are several days that drag on to weeks that stretch on to months where nothing extraordinary happens. It's almost like I'm caught in a revolving door. Then out of nowhere, there are these moments in time where life is just incredible. In these particular moments I truly believe I can do anything and the world doesn't feel so big to me anymore. They give me hope that my reality can turn into the fairy tale life I've always dreamed of having. (Incase you didn't know, I believe in fairy tales.)
Then before you know it, the moment is over and reality quickly reminds you it's still there.  It's so hard for me to come off of these unreal moments in life.  To be completely honest, I believe that absolutely anyone's dreams can happen and I see how The Lord uses each and everyone of my friends.  I'm such a hypocrite because I believe that so much for them, but not at all for myself.

 I feel ordinary most of the time. I feel like I'm the the only person in the world stuck in this revolving door and can't seem to break free. When people ask me what I want to with my life, I stand there struggling.  I really don't know what I want to do, but all I know is that I want to be joyful. That's my dream, to be happy no matter where I am, who I'm with or what I'm doing.  Even though my life isn't really eventful yet or the fairy tale I've always dreamed of, I still have hope that each day I'm getting a little bit closer.
Life is nothing but a multitude of life changing moments.
I've learned to hard way that when we find ourselves in doubt, we aren't with Jesus in those moments.
No matter who you are, where you are, where you've been or what you've done, just know that you are so loved and you can do anything you dream of.  God is going to use both you and I to help change the world. We just don't see it yet.
Jesus says, "Draw close to Me and I'll draw close to you."

With Jesus, a single moment can change everything. Believe it.
Bless you all.

Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.- Ephesians 5:16-17

Whom shall I fear?

We all have our own unique talents and passions. Even if we don't know them yet. 

Recently, I went to my old high school to play tennis with some friends. I haven't been back there since I graduated 3 years ago. When I think back to who I was in high school and who I am now, I can barely recognize who that girl was. I thought I knew everything there was to know and who I was. I will say that I never knew who I was in high school. I realized I just pretended in order to get by. I never respected myself or thought I was talented at anything. I had a miserable high school existence because I made it that way. I didn't appreciate the moments that were given to me. Instead, I was dreaming of a life I thought I could never get to. I can't even tell you what my dreams were at the time because I didn't even know who I was. My dreams in high school are 100% different from what they are now. You know why? Because God has forced me to take the time to figure out who I truly am. 

I'm in the season of waiting right now. 

This season has been extremely bitter sweet. It has been a lot of loneliness, tears, anger, fear and made me question everything I've ever believed in. Somehow, someway, in the midst of all the brokenness Jesus has transformed me into who I know He wants me to be. I wouldn't take back a moment of all the pain and heartache for a second. There's only one worse feeling than being broken into a million pieces and that is not knowing who you are. I used to stare at my reflection in the mirror and ask myself "Who are you, Tyler Scott?" I still don't have all the answers, but I have the One who holds it all. This season went from darkness to pure joy. God literally has stripped me down to nothing and rebuilt me in His image. I used to think having a lot of friends and having to know everything was the way to live, but I have lost countless friends and God has put me in my place with having to know all the answers. There is nothing good about arrogance. 

I still don't have a clue what my purpose is here on earth, but I have no doubt that The Lord is going to give me more than I ever dreamed of. What's my dream you may ask? To live a happy life with Jesus being His hands and feet. It doesn't matter where I am or who's with me, as long as I have my King I'm complete. 

What is God going to do with a shy, awkward and fearful person? Stay tuned! 

He > me.

Make me more like You and less like me.

"But I am trusting You, o Lord, saying 'You are my God!' My future is in Your hands. Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly. Let Your favor shine on Your servant. In Your unfailing love, rescue me." Psalm 31:14-16

Let there be light.

I don't know about you, but lately I've been noticing so much darkness in the world.  It's been one thing after another; death, brokenness, families falling apart and so much hatred.
It has just been too much for me to deal with.

I've been noticing more and more that life as a Christian is hard. Not only are we called to be in check with our spiritual beings, but we are also called to care for everyone else's as well. In this world, especially right now, Christianity is becoming one of the most persecuted religions. As everything is moving further and further away from Jesus, its getting harder and harder to live in the world around us. There are so many passages in the bible that apply for this darkness that seems to never get brighter.
John 15:18-19 "If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love you as one of it's own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. " 
We are called to live above the world, not in it. It would be so much easier to give up and compromise our lives to not have such a hard time, but whats worth gaining if you lose your soul? (Mark 8:36)

Stand firm.

As Christians we aren't perfect. We suffer from the same temptations and downfalls as every other human being. The truth is we are ALL so broken and so messed up. The only difference between Christians and the world is that as Christians, we realize we can't do this on our own. I am so weak, crazy and I have the worst attitude sometimes, but thank God for His son, Jesus. I don't trust my human self one bit. I don't trust my judgement, attitude, thoughts or well-being without Jesus. I'm merely a vessel that He controls and I promise you that because of this lifestyle I have chosen, life is easier.

Stay strong.

The point to all of this is that we aren't guaranteed joy and happiness all the time, there will be storms and darkness, but when you're walking hand in hand with the One who paid it all, how can you not get through it?
"How can you know where you stand in Christ if no one around you has a lamp?"

Christianity is a lifestyle. It is not a phase, on Sundays or something you'll try out when life gets too much to handle. It is you giving up your life so that He can live in you. It is an honor for me to say that letting Jesus control every single aspect of my life is the best thing that has ever happened to me. ALL glory to Him.

Let our light shine in the darkness.

"No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see so that everyone will praise your heavenly father." -Matthew 5:15-16

Impossible isn't possible.

I love the song "One thing remains." If you haven't heard it I highly recommend you check it out (you're welcome in advance). My favorite part of the song is the beginning lyrics saying, "Higher than the mountains that I face."
I don't know if you've ever been around mountains, but where I grew up in Texas there is nothing but flat landscape as far as the eye can see. When I went on vacation to Colorado this summer with my parents I was absolutely in awe of how amazingly detailed and majestic the mountains all around me were.  I was quite fearful when my dad asked me to hike one with him.  I looked up and thought "How on earth am I going to do this? I'm so, so small and I don't even know where to begin." A lot of the time, we Christians are so fearful of the mountains of trials and tribulations, that we often just stand there frozen in doubt of what we can handle and accomplish.  I can definitely speak for myself in this regard, but I also put off what God wants me to do instead of being obedient.  I am a very fearful person that takes no risks, ever.  I didn't want to break my dad's heart and say "no" so I went for it.  I stepped into the 46 degree temperature at a 9,000 ft altitude and started the small journey.
Along the hike, I saw so many beautiful things: waterfalls, frozen waterfalls, different animals, flowers, boulders, beautiful trees, tons of snow, etc. The best part about it was spending this time with my dad in his element. I would do it again and again.
 Our plan wasn't to get to the top of this mountain, but to just hike a few miles of a really awesome trail.  We decided from the beginning that we'd hike to "Calypso Falls." I can't even put into words how beautiful the sight was when we came upon it. It was worth every breath, every stumble, every tiring step.
I like to think this is what God wants from us. He wants us to just go for it and enjoy the journey along the way to whatever destination He has for us. He IS higher than the mountains that we face. No matter what it is in life you're going through or have yet to go through, God is here. He is here holding your hand, carrying you and He is bigger than any fear, worry or situation.
Praise Him for His mercy and grace.
"My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT.